I’m sorry if I couldn’t believe
what I couldn’t see.
I only wanted to know
that what I loved was real, I wanted to touch
and I wanted to feel, I wanted to rest
my hand into a waiting palm
and press my lips
on a cheek pillow-marked from sleep.
a little too old
to still believe in fairy-tales
and promises? I thought
it wouldn’t be fair
to have you in my mind
like a caricature, a character unfoundedly
without sight, without scent, without touch
I don’t want
for you to be merely that. You deserve
So if I am without faith, then
be it so.
But I think, that it is better that way
than to be worshipping an idol
instead of the real god,
and loving a ghost
instead of the living.