Dissolution

I want to love you 

but 

I no longer know 

how.

I listen to the sound

of my heart beating—it communicates

nothing, not a word, only

the dull thudding

and thumping, its usual

mechanism.

Before, I would have said

I hear your name

alongside this rhythmic beating.

But there is no fate,

no auspicious alignment of stars

and no whispering spirits

who will lead me to a secret place

only the two of us know

where I can hold your hand

and forget everything,

even myself.

There is no wall

for me to scale, no mountain

for you to overcome, no depth

we need to fathom before we rise

together, holding a perfect gem—to reflect

our joyful eyes, to reward our searching,

ever searching

hands.

There is only simple

distance, growing more and more

each day,

and the nonexistent string

between our hearts

begins to fray.