Social tips from the timid

Actually, you’re possibly screwed if you’re taking social advice from me.

But, yeah, you’re welcome.

1.       Most people, if not all, are egocentric. Even you. Try not to let it show. It’s a turnoff, even if you have a strong personality. You’ll drain the life out of conversations and social interactions if you keep the thread revolving around you, you and you alone.

Adding a dash of “How about you?” (at the very least) never hurt anyone, hmmmkay?

2.       You were in kindergarten once. You should know how to say “Good morning.” Or afternoon/evening. And hello/thank you/sorry. (And tie your shoelaces too, but that’s not the point.) Before you disturb anyone, ask them for favors, engage them in interviews, at least give the impression that you’re not a total d*ck. ‘Yung wala man lang utang na loob, gano’n.

Greeting people makes them feel appreciated, and they’re more likely to give you what you want.

3.       Don’t be pushy. You don’t ask to see someone’s personal playlist, let alone his phone when you’ve only just met.

It’s kinda threatening. 

4.       Don’t be too rigid, don’t judge so hard. Don’t single out other people or openly give derogatory comments just because they’re in a different religion, taking a different college course, cheering for the other basketball team. If it’s an argument, remember that logic prevails. Dropping details like, say, seeing them pick their noses in public won’t help you win your case, attorney.

      And for the love of all that is holy, don’t bash people when they’re being too “intellectual”. You’re not only bringing them down, you’re also effectually insinuating that you’re too dumb to get it.

Just. Don’t.

5.       Learn how to work in a group. Don’t try and say you’re an introvert just because it’s cool nowadays. And actually, even introverts know the value of teamwork.

      In collaborative publishing, for example, remember that whatever you do separately from your colleagues casts a reflection on the institution as a whole. You’re all under the same banner (and the same logo, and the same dreary and depressing drink-to-cope office). Without their company it would be extremely hard to produce outstanding output, maybe even any output at all just to save face.

6.       Spare us the drama. It’s for kids. At the most, for high school girls swooning over and having catfights over bishie-pretty guys. Even if you’re actually still in high school, this isn’t acceptable behavior—university is just around the corner now, reality is beginning to hound your footsteps, poised to jump and strike at any moment.

      Spare yourself from giving the wrong and unreasonable impression that you’re the weak and weepy type. And don’t risk repulsing potential allies by the childish “silent treatment” and backstabbing practices you’ve mastered over the past few years—you need all the friends you can get, young one. Brace yourself, winter is coming.

7.       If you know you’re good, let others say it for you. Granted, little instances of bragging here and there will probably be acceptable and not too repulsive. Heck, at some times you might even be justified for being proud of something. But there’s a fine line dividing honest, deserving, look-what-we-Filipinos-can-do pride from just vulgar boasting.

And, yes, hello, even Wikipedia requires secondary sources.

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Have a nice day, everyone.