Sunday, 20 July 2014

5 reasons why ‘social networking’ in the Net is an oxymoron


Coming from a geeky and possibly antisocial introvert who shies away from 75% of her upperclassmen and posts nauseatingly acridly sweet uninspired weird poems on Wattpad. Now, there may be several factors contributing to that unfortunate reality (being antisocial, I mean) including my upbringing, choice of books, exposure to mass media, the imminent threat of the proletariat rising up against the government, aaaand the zombie apocalypse (wat) – but for sure I can’t rule out the Internet. I’ve only recently realized how much of a joke it is, what with bridging gaps and forging connections, and am horrified to think about how it may be turning people my age into (uninspired, unenlightened) hermits. Say what you will, but you know it’s true. We’re becoming more socially inept by the minute.

And no, stop smirking - the grownups didn’t make me write this one. (Ha!) Although I can almost hear them cheering me on, as they sit and chat about the old times (cue SFX: Sunday morning FM music).

But you be the judge.
1.      Selfies – every day, every hour. DEAR LORD. Personally, I don’t have anything against selfies, and heck, I take pictures of myself once in a while too. Because pictures say a lot. So it’s hell week and I haven’t had any more than 3 hours of sleep? I’ll post a selca and let a cheery smile amid dark eyes and pale skin speak for me. Every picture is a story in itself – if I may be permitted the cheesy wording, each one can be a work of art.

Sure. My once in a blue moon posted selca. 
But I won't put any pretentious hippie captions.
(Er... even my own annoys me.)

2.      Documenting each and every moment of every day. I get it, that’s why we call a Facebook post, a status. We’re entitled to put what’s in our minds inside that little white dialog box, to be shared with the whole world. TO. BE. SHARED. WITH. THE. WHOLE. WORLD.
Every rant, every mean and sarcastic (in bad taste) remark, every sleep-deprivation/work-dilemma/alcohol induced stupidity. We put them out there where people can judge them. And the worse thing is that, unless we delete these posts, they’ll linger on and taunt us, “Oh, look what a self-absorbed twit you were. Bazinga!”
“Aaaaaaaarggghh! Stuck in traffic for the nth time,” quoth one FB user. Do we need to know that? Unless it’s an interesting traffic jam (in which case, post a picture) or your post contains sharply delivered social commentary on the state of public transportation in the Philippines, no one gives a rat’s ass.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU POST. And if you’re going to tell the story of how your whole day went, do it on Twitter. It’s a micro-blogging site - use it for what it is, dammit!

3.      Gossip on the news feed/Twitter feed. TV actor gets mauled. Two actresses have a catfight over an ex-boyfriend or two. Famous personality admits to being gay/lesbian/bisexual. Within an hour after getting posted on social media, fingers start buzzing over the keyboard, poised to fling a word of rebuke or an (unnecessary, rash) opinion.
            And as if it’s not bad enough seeing what we now consider headlines, there are people who actually fall for it. Hard. 
No matter what day of the week it is, no matter if the person in question is a student or already part of the workforce. (Although I haven't done much research on that, you can go check the stats yourself.) No one can resist the faux feeling of being on moral high ground when commenting on the day's hot issues.
             Everyone's entitled to an opinion, true. But we forget that these words we fling around like shit online are as potent as spoken ones. The Internet is a meeting place like any other - rules and etiquette apply.
             (And we're gabbing on about online libel? Cyber crime, my ass.)

4.      “Like my content, please!” Out of the blue, one of your 1 237 Facebook friends messages you – and it goes like this:
Random friend: Hiiiiiiii ateng maganda! Pa-like naman po netong picture nato: http://www.facebook.com/ajdgjahgjgdfbkjkjbncgwahag. Malaking bagay na po ‘yung isang like nyo. Maraming salamat po! :3
You: Okay, done! :)
      That went well… right?
But deep inside you’re annoyed, maybe even a little sad. That one friend was your preschool classmate – you added him about three years ago – and you’ve never really had a chat on Facebook before, until now.
Because that’s what (Facebook) friends are for, apparently.

5.      See what your friends are liking/favoriting/sharing. This is only a recent development. So you were bored one day and your thoughts were going from schoolwork (you model student, you) to that download that’s taking too long (darned Internet connection) to that girl you were crushing on forever (should you have asked her out?). You wonder what she’s up to now.
The healthy way to deal with it would have been to dismiss the thought and think of unicorns and marshmallows.
But of course you don’t. You go to Facebook and run a search for her recent activity. (Well, she wouldn’t know you’re doing it, right?) You learn that she’d recently broken up with her boyfriend (Great! Now’s your chance!) - but then, another guy’s posting sweet nothings on her timeline. And that leads you to this guy’s page, where you check if your crush likes his posts and pictures as well.
Positive. Whad’ja do now?


GOD, PEOPLE. DON'T YOU HAVE LIVES?

     Overthink. Obsess. Misconstrue meanings. Yes, social media's turning us into raging psychos.

HONORABLE MENTION:

"Seenzone"
Need I say more?


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Have a good day, everyone. :)

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